“Divorce is expensive,” Robin Williams recently said. “I used to joke they were going to call it ‘all the money’, but they changed it to ‘alimony’. It’s ripping your heart out through your wallet.”
Category Archives: humor
“People who know what they’re talking about don’t need PowerPoint.” – Steve Jobs
“People who know what they’re talking about don’t need PowerPoint.” – Steve Jobs
Why Make BIG Problems Out of LITTLE Problems?
“Well, that was easy to fix. Big dogs need big beds. Little dogs need little beds. Why make big problems out of little problems?”
The Bird in “Big Dog, Little Dog” by P.D. Eastman
If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I’m gonna be really pissed.
I exercise regularly. I eat moderate amounts of healthy food. I make sure to get plenty of rest. I see my doctor once a year and my dentist twice a year. I floss every night. I’ve had chest x–rays, cardio stress tests, EKG’s and colonoscopies. I see a psychologist and have a variety of hobbies to reduce stress. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. I don’t do drugs. I don’t have crazy, reckless sex with strangers.
If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I’m gonna be really pissed.
Mask or not, if you hunt without a prenup, pack some ketchup for the dung. – Chuck Lorre
Before Undoogoo would venture into the jungle to begin his daily hunt, he would don a mask to confuse his prey. Not a mask meant to frighten. No, Undoogoo’s mask was pleasant to look at, designed to trick his quarry into thinking that he was harmless. In this way, Undoogoo was able to get close and strike a lethal blow. Which is exactly what he had in mind the day he spied a beautiful creature drinking at a watering hole. Hiding behind his benign facade, he positioned himself alongside his intended victim and prepared to attack. But what Undoogoo didn’t know was that this “beautiful creature” was also wearing a mask. A mask that successfully camouflaged a fierce and merciless predator. And so it was that Undoogoo suddenly found himself being devoured, torn apart, eviscerated!
“you have a name that may be ethnically connected to being a Sergeant.” – Lee
Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee didn’t understand why Rush Limbaugh calls host Ed Schultz, “Sergeant Schultz.” Racist Rep. Lee brought race into it by saying: “I don’t know that to be your name. I’m a little sensitive to what that is to garner. Is that because you have a name that may be ethnically connected to being a Sergeant. I’m not sure what that is. I find that insulting as well.” Schultz is a white male.
Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee, look up Hogan’s Heroes and Sergeant Schultz:
Couric-this great unwashed middle of the country
Katie Couric is touring what she calls “this great unwashed middle of the country”. You have to love the condescension.
“Don’t ask! It’s hell. I can’t stand it!”-Michelle Obama
“Don’t ask! It’s hell. I can’t stand it!”
Michelle Obama on being First Lady. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/
We Con The World
Throw out the old flag along with the Constitution…
With the “Health Insurance” vote, it has become clear of the two major parties, there is one party of freedom and one party of totalitarianism. Anyone intellectually honest knows the Constitution prohibits government actions such as this (or the Patriot Act for that matter). To see a document of enumerated, limited powers twisted into the opposite by power-hungry politicians sworn to protect and defend it is disgusting. The Founders are not just spinning in their graves, they have spun so fast they have completely disintegrated. Just like the protections in the Constitution.
So, the United States can now throw out the old flag while Congress throws out the last vestiges of the Constitution. As such, a more modern flag is needed. Several contenders to replace the old “Stars and Stripes” with a more timely flag are shown below.
Which do you prefer? Let us know in the comments!
